Things just got Real!
by Sketch08
Summary: The countries Google themselves at a world meeting, revealing some shocking things they didn't know about each other. And what does it mean when a county is Xed with another country? What is Yaoi? All this and more answered in this humorous short story! (Crappy summary and title is crappy! :D) (Includes everyone, rated T for one part)


**A/N: Yeah guys I know I'm working on something else, but this is just a short one chaptered story. I woke at 5:46 a.m. and couldn't go back to bed. I've wanted to write this forever. It's just to be fun nothing serious, idc if it sucks!:**

"Okay dudes, I think we made excellent progress today in our meeting, thank you Belgium for bringing in those waffles for everyone!" America grinned at her.

"Not a problem! I had more than enough!" She waved it off.

"But when I offered to bring in pancakes everyone just shrugged." Canada softly said. For once a few could hear him.

"We weren't shrugging, we couldn't hear you. We were yawning." Britain admitted, sipping his tea.

"Hey guys, weird question. Have you ever, like, Googled yourself?" America asked, a hand to his chin as he thought the idea over.

"No, who does zat?" Germany shook his head.

"Ve~…Germany, Germany I want to Google us!" Italy jumped up and down, clapping his hands.

"No, we are not doing zat, America is just being…" Germany trailed, looking at the grinning blonde.

"…himself." Germany concluded.

"Well, what would happen if we did Google ourselves?" Japan spoke up, kind of wanting to.

"Nothing! No one cares what we do. We're just a bunch of countries that sit around and fight sometimes, nothing more." China concluded.

"W-Well, how do you know? People could care about our lives, our history!" Britain stood.

"Well, it still wouldn't hurt da? Maybe others want to become one with mother Russia!" Russia grinned innocently causing everyone to instinctively take a step back.

"Yeah guys, lets-a Google ourselves! I even came up with a name for all of us, come on!" Italy pouted.

"Oui, Italy is right! We should look ourselves up. Besides, someone must notice my gorgeousness other than you all." Francis purred.

"We don't notice it." China added.

"Fine, fine, we'll Google ourselves. America pull down the projector screen, turn off the lights, and turn on the projector so that what's put on the computer screen with show there as well." Britain instructed.

The projector screen took up almost the whole wall; they usually used it for power points.

"We've used the projector before Britain, I'm well aware of how to set it up." America pulled it down and went to turn out the lights.

"Well with your intelligence, I questioned the theory for a moment." Britain narrowed his eyes.

"Italy, type in whatever name you gave us all into the computer." Germany said.

"Got it!" With this Italy typed in the name and light flashed onto the screen, showing it being slowly put it.

"Hetalia? What does that even mean?" Britain squinted.

"I think it's Finnish…" Russia said as the screen switched to a number of things.

"Oh look. There's tons of shit. Who said no one would care about our lives?!" America accusingly shot a look at China.

"I stand corrected. Click on that, what's that picture?" China said, pointing.

A picture came up that spread across the screen, showing the axis and ailed powers with the Hetalia logo over it.

"Look! It's us, it's all of us! That is so cool ve~!" Italy was excited and repeatedly slapped Germany in the arm to gesture for emphases.

"Oh look it gives descriptions of us all!" Francis pointed.

"I am not obnoxious!" America said after scanning the details of himself.

"What the fuck is tsundere and why am I it? Ugh, this is so bloody ridiculous, why the hell did we do this anyway, what a waste of time!" Britain crossed his arms.

"Perverted? Eh, they're not wrong." Francis shrugged nodding.

"Well they got me spot on." Canada said.

"But I don't see anything about you on there…" Russia said, looking around to see if he missed it.

"Exactly."

"Whoa, hold on, what are these OTP things?" Germany asked.

"Hell if I know, maybe I'm just too tsundere to know! God, that's all there was about me!" Britain complained a bit more.

"Hey look! What's with the thing where they have country name the letter x and then another country name?" China pointed.

"Oh! Can I put in Germany x Italy?" Italy grinned.

"Sure, why not. What's the worse that could happen?" America said as this got typed in.

There was a pause.

"Hmmm, go to images, I cant barley ready anything it's kind of fuzzy." Britain said. Italy did just that.

There was another silence as everyone took in the pictures in front of them.

"HOYL SHIT, IS THIS WAS YOU ALL DO WHEN WE'RE NOT AROUND?!" America burst out laughing.

"G-Germany? Why are licking my-"

"SHUT UP!" Germany cut the small man off.

"Oh my god that's hilarious! Look how your blushing Italy!" Russia smacked the table several times.

"Get it off the screen, get it off the screen!" Germany yelled.

"Aw, but look Germany, you're kissing my head, it's so cute!" Italy giggled.

"I said GET IT OFF!" Germany was blushing a deep red.

"Wait, wait, put in Austria x Hungary!" Hungary yelled form behind them. Other countries were there, they had just refrained from speaking up until that point.

This was done quickly by Germany.

"Aw look, you all look so sweet together!" Ukraine said, smiling.

"I know, don't we?" Hungary sighed happily.

"Oh look, there's the awesome me ruining your alls kiss!" Prussia pointed.

"Oh my- why is there a picture of you kissing Hungary?!" Austria asked, appalled.

"I-I don't know! I don't remember- AK!" Prussia was cut off as hands clasped around his throat.

"Wait, wait, hold on, here is something I really want to see. Put in Britain x America!" Francis shouted. Everyone cheered approval.

"Wait, before I do, what is Yaoi?" Italy asked.

"I don't know. Hey, why don't we try using a different name, Britain wont suit for this. What about England?" Russia suggested.

"You already call me that." England glared.

"Oh! Idea! Put in, like, England x America yaoi!" Poland threw his blonde locks over his shoulder.

"No, don't put that in!" England growled.

Too late. Suddenly images flooded the screen, some so graphic that Ukraine threw her hand over Sealand and Wy's eyes.

"HOLY SHIT, HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Germany burst out with first.

"You're sex looks funner than mine." Greece said.

"England you look hot in a waiters outfit, damn!" Hong Kong remarked.

"WHAT THE BLEE, WHAT THE FUCKING DIP SHIT?!" England yelled, horrified hands rising to his blushing face.

"Oh just look at how you are kissing his neck ohononon…" Francis elbowed him.

"Oh my God America, you're having a serious orgasm in that one, you jerk!" Romano yelled.

"I am oddly not hating this." America nodded, receiving a smack in the head from England.

"Damn Britain you are sexy in stripper heels!" Hungary squealed Ukraine and Belarus behind her with nosebleeds.

"Sh-Shut up! I do not wear stripper heels!" England cried.

"Hey, England, can we try that?" America asked, pointing to a picture of England being pressed up against a wall by America who was licking his neck.

"What?! NO we can not TRY that!" England screamed in his face.

"Why not?! It looks fun!" America grinned.

"I think you should try it." Russia said.

"We are not doing that!" England shook his head rapidly.

"Try it! Try it! Try it! Try it!" The whole room began chanting and punching their fists in the air, much to England's dislike.

"Hey England, I think they want us to try it." America winked, though he was hard to hear over the chants.

"Oh, you think?" England sarcastically threw back. He then yelped as America grabbed his hands, giving him a smirk.

"Don't you DARE!" England warned.

America bit his bottom lip then slammed England against the wall, the smaller man kicking his legs furiously.

"America let me go right now I say, don't you hear me? Let me go, this instant!" England screamed.

"Can't do that darlin', the fans demand we 'try it' too much!" America gave him a greedy look.

"Wh-what are going to do?!" England nervously whimpered.

In response America grabbed England's hands, held them over his head, and gave him a hard but passionate kiss. England stayed wide eyed through this, though he stopped kicking. Eventually he let his eyes close, but then America broke the kiss.

"Th-That was- why did you do that you-"

"Shut up!" America rolled his eyes and ran his tongue along England's neck.

England held back a moan he could feel in the back of his throat before willing himself to push the American off. America chuckled, but decided to leave it at that. This they could worry about after the meeting.

"Yeyah! That was sexy as hell America, look at all these nosebleeds out here, whoop!" Prussia called out.

"Oh, look up France x Canada, I want to see if that's a thing! Don't forget the Yaoi thing too!" America called out, receiving a dismayed look from his brother who was maybe afoot away.

"I'm putting it in now! Germany and Italy had to leave for some reason." Romano said. Everyone exchanged knowing glances then snickered childishly.

"You all are sick." Britain concluded.

Once again pictures emerged.

"Canada! Can you really suck dick like that?!" America asked.

"Um, aaaaparently…" Canada let his A linger as he said 'apparently' and gestured to the screen, a disgusted look on his features.

"Canada, I never knew you held such feelings mon cher…" Francis ran his fingers through the smaller boy's locks.

"Get some Canada!" Antonio yelled out.

"No, not now my friends, but mon amour will later, in my bedroom tonight…" France purred.

Canada gulped.

"Well, this is new." Canada simply said.

"Wow. Are we all gay?" Switzerland asked as he read the side bar that read 'You Might Also Like' and then the whole X thing.

"No, your straight Switzerland, you're with Liechtenstein." Belarus said.

"That's makes me happy." Liechtenstein leaned her head on his shoulder. He sighed.

"Okay, me too."

"Wow, I can't believe we didn't do this earlier!" England called out, finally getting into it.

They did this a few more times, finding everyone's match. They found England and France, but England hid behind America who was pretty defensive about the whole thing. France scoffed saying he'd rather have Canada anyway, who just stood there with the Frenchman's arms snaked around his waist. Poland liked being paired with Lithuania, but Lithuania liked himself Xed (as they called it) with Belarus, who broke his hand for saying that. She loved that others had paired her with Russia, and almost killed China when she saw he and him were a thing. America literally had to leave the room to throw up when he saw Canada Xed with himself. Shortly after glancing back at the screen Canada began retching in the room's trash can. Antonio embraced the fact he'd been hooked with Romano. Romano said he hated it, but it wasn't long before the two decided to meet up later. Japan and America decided it'd be best to let their X go because that would be odd.

"Hey look, there's fanfictions about us too!" Latvia pointed out.

"Ohonon rated M are some of them?" Francis grinned.

"Who wont go home and read those?!" America yelled out, jumping up to stand on the table. Everyone raised their hands.

"Who's lying?!" America countered himself.

Everyone raised their hands again.

"Peachy. Well, I think this was a productive meeting, I'm glad it happened! Long story short, we're all getting laid tonight, so yay! And um, well, this is officially over, safe trip home dudes." America nodded.

"That was probably the best ending statement you've ever done." Prussia gave a thumbs up.

"I know right?"

With this everyone left the room, some holding hands, and some glaring daggers, some not doing anything at all. Italy just sat there with Germany when a thought occurred to him.

"Hey Germany? If people know all these things, does that mean we're being watched?" Italy asked.

"No Italy. No one is watching us, don't be silly." Germany dully said.

"Germany." Italy said.

"What?"

"There are credit's rolling by your face." Italy pointed.

Germany stared at them for a second before he grabbed Italy and bolted.

"Go, run, zat is fucked up!"

**A/N: Well that was fun to write, I liked that. Imma go pass out now, night! –dies- X_X Please review sirs!**

**(I own nothing except the story line)**


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